Top highlights from Where Rainbows End
You deserve someone who loves you with every single beat of his heart, someone who thinks about you constantly, someone who spends every minute of every day just wondering what youre doing, where you are, who youre with, and if youre OK. You need someone who can help you reach your dreams and protect you from your fears. You need someone who will treat you with respect, love every part of you, especially your flaws. You should be with someone who could make you happy, really happy, dancing on air happy.
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Ive learned that home isnt a place, its a feeling.
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Our life is made up of time; our days are measured in hours, our pay measured by those hours, our knowledge is measured by years. We grab a few quick minutes in our busy day to have a coffee break. We rush back to our desks, we watch the clock, we live by appointments. And yet your time eventually runs out and you wonder in your heart of hearts if those seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years and decades were being spent the best way they possibly could. In other words, if you could change anything, would you?
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Life is funny isnt it? Just when you think youve got it all figured out, just when you finally begin to plan something, get excited about something, and feel like you know what direction youre heading in, the paths change, the signs change, the wind blows the other way, north is suddenly south, and east is west, and youre lost. It is so easy to lose your way, to lose direction. And thats with following all the signposts
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It's funny because when you're a child, you believe you can be anything you want to be, go wherever you want to go. There's no limit to what you can dream. You expect the unexpected, you believe in magic, in fairy tales, and in possibilities. Then you grow older and that innocence is shattered and somewhere along the way the reality of life gets in the way and you're hit by the realization that you can't be all you wanted to be, you just might have to settle for a little bit less.Or perhaps a variation of what you once wanted.Why do we stop believing in ourselves? Why do we let facts and figures and anything but dreams rule our lives?
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That's what life is about: People come and go.
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I wake up in the morning and I feel like Im missing something. I knowthat theres something not right, and it takes me a while to remember what itis . . . then I remember. My best friend is gone. My only friend. It was silly ofme to rely so much on one person.
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Rosie,I'm returning to Boston tomorrow but before I go I wanted to write this letter to you. All the thoughts and feelings that have been bubbling up inside me are finally overflowing from this pen and I'm leaving this letter for you so that you don't feel that I'm putting you under any great pressure. I understand that you will need to take your time trying to decide on what I am about to say.I no what's going on, Rosie. You're my best friend and I can see the sadness in your eyes. I no that Greg isn't away working for the weekend. You never could lie to me; you were always terrible at it. Your eyes betray you time and time again. Don't pretend that everything is perfect because I see it isn't. I see that Greg is a selfish man who has absolutely no idea just how lucky he is and it makes me sick.He is the luckiest man in the world to have you, Rosie, but he doesn't deserve you and you deserve far better. You deserve someone who loves you with every single beat of his heart, someone who thinks about you constantly, someone who spends every minute of every day just wondering what you're doing, where you are, who you're with and if you're OK. You need someone who can help you reach your dreams and who can protect you from your fears. You need someone who will treat you with respect, love every part of you, especially your flaws. You should be with someone who can make you happy, really happy, dancing-on-air happy. Someone who should have taken the chance to be with you years ago instead of becoming scared and being too afraid to try.I am not scared any more, Rosie. I am not afraid to try. I no what the feeling was at your wedding - it was jealousy. My heart broke when I saw the woman I love turning away from me to walk down the aisle with another man, a man she planned to spend the rest of her life with. It was like a prison sentence for me - years stretching ahead without me being able to tell you how I feel or hold you how I wanted to.Twice we've stood beside each other at the altar, Rosie. Twice. And twice we got it wrong. I needed you to be there for my wedding day but I was too stupid to see that I needed you to be the reason for my wedding day.I should never have let your lips leave mine all those years ago in Boston. I should never have pulled away. I should never have panicked. I should never have wasted all those years without you. Give me a chance to make them up to you. I love you, Rosie, and I want to be with you and Katie and Josh. Always.Please think about it. Don't waste your time on Greg. This is our opportunity. Let's stop being afraid and take the chance. I promise I'll make you happy.All my love,Alex
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Home isn't a place, its a feeling
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I think I need to facewhat I could have been in order to understand and accept what I am.
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people who say its a long story, mean it's a stupid short one that they are too embarrassed and couldn't be bothered to tell
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At first we had so much to catch up on we were talking a hundred words a second, barely even listening to the ends of one another's sentences before moving onto the next. And there was laughing. Lots of laughing. Then the laughing stopped and there was this silence. What the hell was it?It was like the world stopped turning in that instant. Like everyone around us had disappeared. Like everything at home was forgotten about. It was as if those few minutes on this world were created just for us and all we could do was look at each other. It was like he was seeing my face for the first time. He looked confused but kind of amused. Exactly how I felt. Because I was sitting on the grass with my best friend Alex, and that was my best friend Alex's face and nose and eyes and lips, but they seemed different. So I kissed him. I seized the moment and I kissed him,
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Twice we stood beside each other at the altar, Rosie. Twice. And twicewe got it wrong. I needed you to be there for my wedding day but I was toostupid to see that I needed you to be the reason for my wedding day. But wegot it all wrong.
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There arent many sure things in life, but one thing I know for sure isthat you have to deal with the consequences of your actions. You have to followthrough on some things.
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Age is just a number, not a state of mind or a reason for any type of particular behaviour.
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Ruby: ...What's so good about being 20? I call them the materialist years. The years we get distracted by all the bullshit. Then we cop on when we hit our 30s and spend those years trying to make up for the 20s. But your 40s? Those years are for enjoying it.Rosie: Hmmm good point. What are the 50s for?Ruby: Fixing what you fucked up in your 40s.Rosie: Great. Looking forward to it.
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what you don't know, you don't miss
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My dear Rosie,Unbeknownst to you I took this chance before, many, many years ago. You never received that letter and I'm glad because my feelings since then have changed dramatically. They have intensified with every passing day.I'll get straight to the point because if I don't say what I have to say now, I fear it will never be said. And I need to say it.Today I love you more than ever; I want you more than ever. I'm a man of fifty years of age coming to you, feeling like a teenager in love, asking you to give me a chance and love me back.Rosie Dunne, I love you with all my heart. I have always loved you, even when I was seven years old and I lied about falling asleep on Santa watch, when I was ten years old and didn't invite you to my birthday party, when I was eighteen and had to move away, even on my wedding days, on your wedding day, on christenings, birthdays and when we fought. I loved you through it all. Make me the happiest man on this earth by being with me.Please reply to me.All my love,Alex
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Children need close friends to help them grow up, to discover things about themselves and about life. They also need close friends to keep them sane
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Today I love you more than ever; tomorrow I will love you even more. I need you more than ever; I want you more than ever.
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You can run and run as fast and as far as you like, but the truth is, wherever you run, there you are.
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We have a long way to go tobeing the perfect couple, we certainly dont live the fairy tale marriage, hedoesnt shower me with rose petals and fly me to Paris on weekends butwhen I get my hair cut, he notices. When I dress up to go out at night, hecompliments me. When I cry, he wipes my tears. When I feel lonely, hemakes me feel loved. And who needs Paris, when you can get a hug?
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Theres something completely unnerving about seeing your parentsupset. I suppose its because theyre supposed to be the strong ones, butthats not just it. Ever since people are kids they use their parents as somesort of measurement for how bad a situation is. When you fall on the groundreally hard and you cant figure out whether it hurts or not you look to yourparents. If they look worried and rush toward you, you cry. If they laugh andsmack the ground saying Bold ground, then you pick yourself up and geton with it.
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I had a million plans. I knew what I was going to do. I had the next few years of my life all figured out.But what I didnt know was that within a few hours all those plans would change. Ms. Know-it-all didnt quite know it all so much then.
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After all, soulmates always end up together. Silly Bethany won't even be remembered then. Ex-girlfriends are easily forgotten. Best friends stay with you for ever.
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My Best Woman speechGood evening everyone, my name is Rosie and as you can see Alex hasdecided to go down the non-traditional route of asking me to be his bestwoman for the day. Except we all know that today that title does not belongto me. It belongs to Sally, for she is clearly his best woman.I could call myself the best friend but I think we all know that todaythat title no longer refers to me either. That title too belongs to Sally.But what doesnt belong to Sally is a lifetime of memories of Alex thechild, Alex the teenager, and Alex the almost-a-man that Im sure he wouldrather forget but that I will now fill you all in on. (Hopefully they all willlaugh.)I have known Alex since he was five years old. I arrived on my first dayof school teary-eyed and red-nosed and a half an hour late. (I am almost sureAlex will shout out Whats new?) I was ordered to sit down at the back ofthe class beside a smelly, snotty-nosed, messy-haired little boy who had thebiggest sulk on his face and who refused to look at me or talk to me. I hatedthis little boy.I know that he hated me too, him kicking me in the shins under the tableand telling the teacher that I was copying his schoolwork was a telltale sign.We sat beside each other every day for twelve years moaning about school,moaning about girlfriends and boyfriends, wishing we were older and wiser and out of school, dreaming for a life where we wouldnt have double mathson a Monday morning.Now Alex has that life and Im so proud of him. Im so happy that hesfound his best woman and his best friend in perfect little brainy and annoyingSally.I ask you all to raise your glasses and toast my best friend Alex and hisnew best friend, best woman, and wife, Sally, and to wish them luck andhappiness and divorce in the future.To Alex and Sally!
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There were hundreds of them spread across the floor, each telling its own tale of triumph or sadness, each letter representing a phase in her life. She had kept them all.
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Note to self: Do not under any circumstances fall in love again.
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Rosie: What the hell was that silence?Steph: It sounds like something Id like. It sounded nice.Rosie: It was.
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Im trying to make some sense out of the phrase Everything happens for a reason, and I think Ive gured out what the reason isto piss me off.
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Deep down, underneath all his layers of stupidity, hes a really goodman. He may act out far too many selfish thoughts, says all the wrong thingsat all the wrong times, but behind closed doors hes a best friend. I understandthat he has idiotic tendencies and I can still love him for it. He may notbe someone that you feel comfortable sitting next to at a dinner party but forme, hes someone that I feel comfortable sharing my life with.
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Her life in ink.
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Fairy tales are such evil little stories for young children.
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I dont want to be one of those easily forgotten people, so important at the time, so special, so influential, and so treasured, yet years later just a vague face and a distant memory. I want us to be best friends forever,
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Well that's the problem with paradise- nothing attracts a serpent quite like it.
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When I started school I thought that people in sixth class were so oldand knowledgeable even though they were no older than twelve. When Ireached twelve I reckoned the people in sixth year, at eighteen years of age,must have known it all. When I reached eighteen I thought that once I finishedcollege then I would really be mature. At twenty-five I still hadnt madeit to college, was still clueless and had a seven-year-old daughter. I was convinced that when I reached my thirties I was going to have at least some clue as to what was going on.Nope, hasnt happened yet.So Im beginning to think that when Im fifty, sixty, seventy, eighty,ninety years old I still wont be any closer to being wise and knowledgeable.Perhaps people on their deathbed, who have had long, long lives, seen it all,traveled the world, have had kids, been through their own personal traumas,beaten their demons, and learned the harsh lessons of life will be thinking,God, people in heaven must really know it all.But I bet that when they finally do die theyll join the rest of the crowdsup there, sit around, spying on the loved ones they left behind and still bethinking that in their next lifetime, theyll have it all sussed.But I think I have it sussed Steph, Ive sat around for years thinkingabout it and Ive discovered that no one, not even the big man upstairs hasthe slightest clue as to whats going on.
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Twice we stood beside each other at the altar, Rosie. Twice. And twicewe got it wrong. I needed you to be there for my wedding day but I was toostupid to see that I needed you to be the reason for my wedding day. But wegot it all wrong.I should never have let your lips leave mine all those years ago in Boston.I should never have pulled away. I should never have panicked. I should neverhave wasted all those years without you. Give me a chance to make them upto you. I love you, Rosie, and I want to be with you and Katie and Josh.Always.Please think about it. Dont waste your time on Greg, this is our opportunity.Lets stop being afraid and take the chance. I promise Ill make youhappy.
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All I need isbackup. Hes the little angel that sits on my shoulder whispering in my ear,You can do it! Its funny. Im thirty years old now and I still feel like a littlegirl. Im still looking around to check and see what other people are doingto make sure Im not completely different; Im still looking around for help,hoping for a quick nudge and a whisper of advice. But I cant seem to be ableto catch anybodys eye. Nobody else around me seems to be looking aroundand wondering what to do. Why is it that I feel like Im the only person whois confused and concerned about the choices Ive made and where Imheaded? Everywhere I look, I see people just getting on with it. Maybe Ishould just follow suit and get on with it.
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Life is hard, so what?
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Things change so quickly. Just when you get used to something, zap! Itchanges. Just when you begin to understand someone, zap! They grow up. Thesame is happening with Katie. She changes every day; her face just becomes somuch more grown-up every time I look at her. Sometimes I have to stop pretendingIm interested in what shes saying in order to realize that I actually aminterested. We go shopping for clothes together and I take her advice, we eatout for lunch and giggle over silly things. I just cant cast my mind back to thetime when my child stopped being a child and became a person.
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People can never own people but whether I can be with him or not right now, the answer is no. Not now. Maybe in another time.
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Well isnt that one thing youre all the more wise for? Age has taughtyou something. It seems to me that you know the big secret. That nobodyknows whats going on
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Wildflower: Don't let people walk all over you, Buttercup. It's your life. If you want something, you need to get out there and grab it by the horns because no one is going to give you what you want on a plate. Good girls always come second.
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Once again, I dont quite know where Im headed Steph. It seems thatevery few years Im shoveling up the pieces of my life and starting fromscratch all over. No matter what I do or how hard I try I cant seem to reachthe dizzy heights of happiness, success, and security, like so many people do.And Im not talking about becoming a millionaire and living happily everafter. I just mean reaching a point in my life that I can stop what Im doing,take a look around me, breathe a sigh of relief, and think Im where I wantto be now.
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Life is funny isn't it? Just when you think you've got it all figured out, just when you finally begin to plan something, get excited about something, and feel like you know what direction you're heading in, the paths change, the signs change, the wind blows the other way, north is suddenly south, and east is west, and you're lost. It is easy to lose your way, to lose direction.
Cecilia Ahern,
Love, Rosie
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Parents are the barometers of emotions for children and it has a domino effect.
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I think I need to face what I could have been in order to understand and accept what I am.
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Rosie: Marrying someone you don't love is not right.
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So I left my wonderfully intelligent family and soaked myself in the bath and considered drowning myself. Then I remembered I still had chocolate cake left over from yesterday so I came back up for air. Some things are worth living for.
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It's funny because when you're a child, you believe you can be anything you want to be, go whenever you want to go. There's no limit to what you can dream. You expect the unexpected, you believe in magic, in fairy tales, and in possibilities. Then you grow older and that innocence is shattered and somewhere along the way the reality of life gets in the way and you're hit by the realization that you can't be all you wanted to be, you just might have to settle for a bit less. Or perhaps a variation of what you once wanted.Why do we stop believing in ourselves? Why do we let facts and figures and anything but dreams rule our lives? But now my mind is changed again. Nothing is impossible - it was there all the time. I just wasn't reaching out far enough that's all.Nothing is impossible.
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I love it here in Boston and I love studying medicine. Butits not home. Dublin is home. Being back with you felt like home. I miss mybest friend.Ive met some great guys here, but I didnt grow up with any of themplaying cops and robbers in my back garden. I dont feel like they are realfriends. I havent kicked them in the shins, stayed up all night on Santawatch with them, hung from trees pretending to be monkeys, played hotel,or laughed my heart out as their stomachs were pumped. Its kind of hard tobeat that.
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You deserve someone who loves you with every single beat of his heart, someone who thinks about you constantly, someone who spends every minute of every day just wondering what youre doing, where you are, who youre with, and if youre OK. You need someone who can help you reach your dreams and who can protect you from your fears.
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Aim for something Rosie, I know you dont want to hear it, but it willhelp. Aim for what you want and the year will all make sense. Go to Bostonif that will make you happy. Study hotel management like youve alwayswanted.Youre only young Rosie, and I know that you absolutely hate to hearthat but its true. What seems tragic now wont even be an issue in a fewlove, rosie 29years time. Youre only 17. You and Alex have the rest of your lives to catchup together . . . After all, soul mates always end up together. Silly Bethanywont even be remembered in a few years time. Ex-girlfriends are easily forgotten.Best friends stay with you forever.
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Somewhere along the way, without me even noticing, I grew up Alex. Foronce, I couldnt take advice from anyone around me about what I should orshouldnt do. I couldnt go running to mum and dad and I cant compare mymarriage to anybody elses, we all follow our own rules.
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Its hard for everyone isnt it? Anyone who says its easy is a liar. Theresthis huge divide between me and Alex right now because I feel like were livingin such different worlds, I dont know what to talk about with him anymore.And we used to be able to talk all night. He phones once a week and Ilisten to what hes been up to during the week and try to bite my tongueevery time I go into another Katie story. Truth is I have nothing other to talkabout but her and I know it bores people. I think I used to be interestingonce upon a time.
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Katie is like my calendar, watching her growand change. She is growing up so fast, learning to have opinions of her own,learning that I dont have the answers to everything. And the moment a childbegins to understand that, you know youre in trouble.
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