Top highlights from The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
But until a person can say deeply and honestly, "I am what I am today because of the choices I made yesterday," that person cannot say, "I choose otherwise.
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Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.
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Treat a man as he is and he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he can and should be and he will become as he can and should be.
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Start with the end in mind.
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To change ourselves effectively, we first had to change our perceptions.
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We see the world, not as it is, but as we areor, as we are conditioned to see it.
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Habit 1: Be ProactiveHabit 2: Begin with the End in MindHabit 3: Put First Things FirstHabit 4: Think Win/WinHabit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be UnderstoodHabit 6: SynergizeHabit 7: Sharpen the Saw
Stephen Covey,
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
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When the trust account is high, communication is easy, instant, and effective.
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Two people can see the same thing, disagree, and yet both be right. It's not logical; it's psychological.
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Sow a thought, reap an action; sow an action, reap a habit; sow a habit, reap a character; sow a character, reap a destiny.
Stephen Covey,
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
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It's not what happens to us, but our response to what happens to us that hurts us.
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My wife and I just don't have the same feelings for each other we used to have. I guess I just don't love her anymore and she doesn't love me. What can i do?""The feeling isn't there anymore?" I asked."That's right," he reaffirmed. "And we have three children we're really concerned about. What do you suggest?""love her," I replied."I told you, the feeling just isn't there anymore.""Love her.""You don't understand. the feeling of love just isn't there.""Then love her. If the feeling isn't there, that's a good reason to love her.""But how do you love when you don't love?" "My friend , love is a verb. Love - the feeling - is a fruit of love, the verb. So love her. Serve her. Sacrifice. Listen to her. Empathize. Appreciate. Affirm her. Are you willing to do that?
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If I really want to improve my situation, I can work on the one thing over which I have control - myself.
Stephen Covey,
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
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to learn and not to do is really not to learn. To know and not to do is really not to know.
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It is one thing to make a mistake, and quite another thing not to admit it. People will forgive mistakes, because mistakes are usually of the mind, mistakes of judgment. But people will not easily forgive the mistakes of the heart, the ill intention, the bad motives, the prideful justifying cover-up of the first mistake.
Stephen Covey,
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
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Happiness, like unhappiness, is a proactive choice.
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Habit is the intersection of knowledge (what to do), skill (how to do), and desire (want to do).
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Love is a verb. Love the feeling is the fruit of love the verb or our loving actions. So love her. Sacrifice. Listen to her. Empathize. Appreciate. Affirm her.
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At some time in your life, you probably had someone believe in you when you didn't believe in yourself.
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The ability to subordinate an impulse to a value is the essence of the proactive person.
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Courage isn't absenct of fear, it is the awareness that something else is important
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Ineffective people live day after day with unused potential.
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Our behavior is a function of our decisions, not our conditions.
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As you care less about what people think of you, you will care more about what others think of themselves.
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Admission of ignorance is often the first step in our education.
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There's no better way to inform and expand you mind on a regular basis than to get into the habit of reading good literature.
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How you treat the one reveals how youregard the many, because everyone is ultimately a one.
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How different our lives are when we really know what is deeply important to us, and keeping that picture in mind, we manage ourselves each day to be and to do what really matters most.
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People can't live with change if there's not a changeless core inside them.
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It comes from within.
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If you want to have a more pleasant,cooperative teenager, be a more understanding, emphatic, consistent, loving parent.
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To maintain the P/PC Balance, the balance between the golden egg (production) and the health and welfare of the goose (production capability) is often a difficult judgment call. But I suggest it is the very essence of effectiveness.
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Treat them all the same by treating them differently.
Stephen Covey,
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
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Where we stand depends on where we sit." Each of us tends to think we see things as they are, that we are objective. But this is not the case. We see the world, not as it is, but as we areor, as we are conditioned to see it. When we open our mouths to describe what we see, we in effect describe ourselves, our perceptions, our paradigms. When other people disagree with us, we immediately think something is wrong with them.
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When air is charged with emotions, an attempt to teach is often perceived as a form of judgment and rejection.
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The only person I know, is the person I want to be
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We must look at the lens through we see the world, as well as the world we see, and that the lens itself shapes how we interpret the world.
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people have character strength but they lack communication skills, and that undoubtedly affects the quality of relationships as well.
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The person who doesnt read is no better off than the person who cant read.
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The core of any family is what is changeless, what is going to be thereshared vision and values.
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Attending church does not necessarily mean living the principles taught in those meeting. You can be active in a church but inactive in its gospel.
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Make small commitments and keep them. Be a light, not a judge. Be a model, not a critic. Be part of the solution, not part of the problem.
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We are not our feelings. We are not our moods. We are not even our thoughts. The very fact that we can think about these things separates us from them and from the animal world. Self-awareness enables us to stand apart and examine even the way we see ourselvesour self-paradigm, the most fundamental paradigm of effectiveness. It affects not only our attitudes and behaviors, but also how we see other people.
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Proactive people focus their efforts in the Circle of Influence. They work on the things they can do something about. The nature of their energy is positive, enlarging and magnifying, causing their Circle of Influence to increase. Reactive people, on the other hand, focus their efforts in the Circle of Concern. They focus on the weakness of other people, the problems in the environment, and circumstances over which they have no control. Their focus results in blaming and accusing attitudes, reactive language, and increased feelings of victimization. The negative energy generated by that focus, combined with neglect in areas they could do something about, causes their Circle of Influence to shrink.
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Each of us guard a gate of change that can only be opened from the inside.
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Be patient with yourself. Self-growth is tender; its holy ground. Theres no greater investment.
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But borrowing strength builds weakness.
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we're responsible for our own lives.
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leadership is communicating others worth and potential so clearly that they are inspired to see it in themselves.
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Interdependence is a choice only independent people can make
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Principles are the territory. Values are maps. When we value correct principles, we have truth -- a knowledge of things as they are.
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Albert Einstein observed, The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.
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We can't live without eating, but we don't live to eat.
Stephen Covey,
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
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It's sometimes a painful process. It's a change that has to be motivated by a higher purpose, by the willingness to subordinate what you think you want now for what you want later.
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The key is not to prioritize whats on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.
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