Top highlights from The Four Agreements
The Four Agreements1. Be impeccable with your word.2. Dont take anything personally.3. Dont make assumptions.4. Always do your best.
don
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If someone is not treating you with love and respect, it is a gift if they walk away from you. If that person doesn't walk away, you will surely endure many years of suffering with him or her. Walking away may hurt for a while, but your heart will eventually heal. Then you can choose what you really want. You will find that you don't need to trust others as much as you need to trust yourself to make the right choices.
Don
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Whatever happens around you, don't take it personally... Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves.
Don
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If others tell us something we make assumptions, and if they don't tell us something we make assumptions to fulfill our need to know and to replace the need to communicate. Even if we hear something and we don't understand we make assumptions about what it means and then believe the assumptions. We make all sorts of assumptions because we don't have the courage to ask questions.
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I will no longer allow anyone to manipulate my mind and control my life in the name of love.
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God is life. God is life in action. The best way to say, "I love you, God," is to live your life doing your best. The best way to say, "Thank you, God," is by letting go of the past and living in the present moment, right here and now. Whatever life takes away from you, let it go. When you surrender and let go of the past, you allow yourself to be fully alive in the moment. Letting go of the past means you can enjoy the dream that is happening right now.
Don
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Every human is an artist. The dream of your life is to make beautiful art.
Don
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There is a huge amount of freedom that comes to you when you take nothing personally.
Don
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Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama.
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If you live in a past dream, you don't enjoy what is happening right now because you will always wish it to be different than it is. There is no time to miss anyone or anything because you are alive. Not enjoying what is happening right now is living in the past and being only half alive. This leads to self pity, suffering and tears.
Don
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But it is not what I am saying that is hurting you; it is that you have wounds that I touch by what I have said. You are hurting yourself. There is no way I can take this personally.
Don
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You can have many great ideas in your head, but what makes the difference is the action. Without action upon an idea, there will be no manifestation, no results, and no reward
Don
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Wherever you go you will find people lying to you, and as your awareness grows, you will notice that you also lie to yourself. Do not expect people to tell you the truth because they also lie to themselves. You have to trust yourself and choose to believe or not to believe what someone says to you.
Don
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Prayer for LoveThank You, Creator of the Universe for the gift of Life you have given me,Thank You for giving me everything that I have ever needed,Thank You for the opportunity to experience this beautiful body and this wonderful mind,Thank You for living inside me with all Your Love and Your pure and boundless Spirit,with Your warm and radiating Light.Thank You for using my words, for using my eyes, for using my heart to share your love wherever I go.I love You just the way you are and because I am your creation, I love myself just the way I am.Help me to keep the Love and the Peace in my Heart and to make that Love a new way of life, that I may live in Love the rest of my life.Amen.
Don
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Be impeccable with your word. Don't take anything personally. Don't make assumptions. Always do your best.
Don
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Also, go inside and listen to your body, because your body will never lie to you. Your mind will play tricks, but the way you feel in your heart, in your guts, is the truth.
Don
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It is when we lose control that we repress the emotions, not when we are in control.
Don
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True justice is paying only once for each mistake. True injustice is paying more than once for each mistake.
don
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Whenever we hear an opinion and believe it, we make an agreement, and it becomes part of our belief system.
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The big diffrence between a warrior and a victim is that the victim represses and the warrior refrains.
Don
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What you will see is love coming out of the trees, love coming out of the sky, love coming out of the light. You will perceive love from everything around you. This is the state of bliss.
Don
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Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourslef or to gossip about others. Use your power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
Don
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Humans hardly know what they want, how they want it, or when they want it.
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Humans punish themselves endlessly for not being what they believethey should be. They become very self-abusive, and they use other people to abuse themselves as well.
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You express your own divinity by being alive and by loving yourself and others.
Don
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Maybe we cannot escape from the destiny of the human, but we have a choice: to suffer our destiny or to enjoy our destiny.
Don
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One day, as he slept in a cave, he dreamed that he saw his own body sleeping. He came out of the cave on the night of a new moon. The sky was clear, and he could see millions of stars. Then something happened inside of him that transformed his life forever. He looked at his hands, he felt his body, and he heard his own voice say. "I am made of light, I am made of stars."He looked at the stars again, and he realized that it's not the stars that create the light, but rather the light that creates the stars. "Everything is made of light," he said, "and the space in-between isn't empty." And he knew that everything that exists is one living being, and that light is the messenger of life, because it is alive and contains all information. (xvi)
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We judge others according to our image ofperfection as well, and naturally they fall short of our expectations.
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In any kind of relationship we can make the assumption that others know what we think, and we dont have to say what we want. They are going to do what we want because they know us so well. If they dont do what we want, what we assume they should do, we feel hurt and think, How could you do that? You should know. Again, we make the assumption that the other person knows what we want. A whole drama is created because we make this assumption and then put more assumptions ontop of it.
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We are so well trained that we are our own domesticator. We are an autodomesticated animal. We can now domesticate ourselves according to the same belief system we were given, and using the same system of punishment and reward. We punish ourselves when we don't follow the rules according to our belief system; we reward ourselves when we are the "good boy" or "good girl".
don
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It is very interesting how the human mind works. We have the need to justify everything, to explain and understand everything, in order to feel safe. We have millions of questions that need answers because there are so many things that the reasoning mind cannot explain. It is not important if the answer is correct; just the answer itself makes us feel safe. This is why we make assumptions. We make all sorts of assumptions because we dont have the courage to ask questions.
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I will even feel guilty for not telling you how much I love you. The love that makes me happy is the love that I can share with you. Why do I need to deny that I love you? It is not important if you love me back. I may die tomorrow or you may die tomorrow. What makes me happy now is to let you know how much I love you.
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In your whole life nobody has ever abused you more than you have abused yourself. And the limit of your self-abuse is exactly the limit that you will tolerate from someone else. If someone abuses you a little more than you abuse yourself, you will probably walk away from that person. But if someone abuses you a little less than you abuse yourself, you will probably stay in the relationship and tolerate it endlessly.
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Taking things personally makes you easy prey for these predators, the black magicians. They can hook you easily with one little opinion and feed you whatever poison they want, and because you take it personally, you eat it up. You eat all their emotional garbage, and now it becomes your garbage. But if you do not take it personally, you are immune in the middle of hell. Immunity to poison in the middle of hell is the gift of this agreement.
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That is why humans resist life. To be alive is the biggest fear humans have. Death is not the biggestfear we have; our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive the risk to be alive and express what wereally are. Just being ourselves is the biggest fear of humans. We have learned to live our lives tryingto satisfy other peoples demands. We have learned to live by other peoples points of view because ofthe fear of not being accepted and of not being good enough for someone else.
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Imagine living your life without judging others. You can easily forgive others and let go of any judgments that you have. You dont have the need to be right, and you dont need to make anyone else wrong. You respect yourself and everyone else, and they respect you in return.
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You will find that you dont need to trust others as much as you need to trust yourself to make the right choices.
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Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves.
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Just do your best in any circumstance in your life. It doesnt matter if you are sick or tired, if you always do your best there is no way you can judge yourself. And if you dont judge yourself there is no way you are going to suffer from guilt, blame, and self-punishment. By always doing your best, you will break a big spell that you have been under.
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PRELUDE TO A NEW DREAM
don
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We must forgive those we feel have wronged us, not because they deserve to be forgiven but because we love ourselves so much we don't want to keep paying for the injustice...when someone can touch a wound and it no longer hurts you then you know you have truly forgiven.
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Ninety-five percent of the beliefs we have stored in our minds are nothing but lies, and we suffer because we believe all these lies.
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Humans are storytellers. It is our nature to make up stories, to interpret everything we perceive. Without awareness, we give our personal power to the story and the story writes itself. With awareness, we recover the control of our story. We see we are the authors and if we don't like our story, we change it.
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We have to be what we are, so we dont have to present a false image. If you love me the way I am, Okay, take me. If you dont love me the way I am, Okay, bye-bye. Find someone else. It may sound harsh, but this kind of communication means the personal agreements we make with others are clear and impeccable.
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You may even tell me, "Miguel, what you are saying is hurting me." But it is not what I am saying that is hurting you; it is that you have wounds that I touch by what I have said.
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You can measure the impeccability of your word by your level of self-love. How much you love yourself and how you feel about yourself are directly proportionate to the quality and integrity of your word. When you are impeccable with your word, you feel good; you feel happy and at peace.
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The fear of being rejected becomes the fear of not being good enough. Eventually we become someone that we are not. We become a copy of Mammas beliefs, Daddys beliefs, societys beliefs, and religions beliefs.
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If someone is not treating you with love and respect, it is a gift if they walk away from you.
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You are no longer responsible for anyone's opinion. You have no need to control anyone, and no one controls you either... You don't need to be right and you don't need to make anyone else wrong...you are no longer afraid of being rejected, and you don't have the need to be accepted...you can walk into the world with your heart completely open, and not be afraid to be hurt.
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We have learned to live by other peoples points of view because of the fear of not being accepted and of not being good enough for someone else.
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We have a dysfunctional dream of the planet, and humans are mentally sick with a disease called fear. The symptoms of the disease are all the emotions that make humans suffer: anger, hate, sadness, envy, and betrayal. When the fear is too great, the reasoning mind begins to fail, and we call this mental illness.
Don
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We dont see the truth because we are blind. What blinds us are all those false beliefs we have in our mind. We have the need to be right and to make others wrong. We trust what we believe, and our beliefs set us up for suffering.
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How many times do we pay for one mistake? The answer is thousands of times. The human is the only animal on earth that pays a thousand times for the same mistake. The rest of the animals pay once for every mistake they make. But not us. We have a powerful memory. We make a mistake, we judge ourselves, we find ourselves guilty, and we punish ourselves. If justice exists, then that was enough; we dont need to do it again. But every time we remember, we judge ourselves again, we are guilty again, and we punish ourselves again, and again, and again. If we have a wife or husband he or she also reminds us of the mistake, so we can judge ourselves again, punish ourselves again, and find ourselves guilty again. Is this fair?
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If others say one thing, but do another, you are lying to yourself if you dont listen to their actions. But if you are truthful with yourself, you will save yourself a lot of emotional pain. Telling yourself the truth about it may hurt, but you dont need to be attached to the pain. Healing is on the way, and its just a matter of time before things will be better for you.
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You dont need to blame your parents for teaching you to be like them. What else could they teach you but what they know? They did the best they could, and if they abused you, it was due to their own domestication, their own fears, their own beliefs. They had no control over the programming they received, so they couldnt have behaved any differently.
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Gossiping has become the main form of communication in human society. It has become the way we feel close to each other, because it makes us feel better to see someone else feel as badly as we do.
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It is not important to me what you think about me, and I don't take what you think personally. I don't take it personally when people say, "Miguel, you are the best," and I don't take it personally when they say, "Miguel, you are the worst." I know that when you are happy you will tell me, "Miguel, you are such an angel!" But, when you are mad at me you will say, "Oh, Miguel, you are such a devil! You are so disgusting. How can you say those things?" Either way, it does not affect me because I know what I am. I don't have the need to be accepted. I don't have the need to have someone tell me, "Miguel, you are doing so good!" or "How dare you do that!
Don
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You were born with the right to be happy. You were born with the right to love, to enjoy and to share your love. You are alive, so take your life and enjoy it. Dont resist life passing through you, because that is God passing through you. Just your existence proves the existence of God. Your existence proves the existence of life and energy.
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Whatever happens around you, don't take it personally... Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves.
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THE FIRST AGREEMENT Be Impeccable with Your Word THE FIRST AGREEMENT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT ONE and also the most difficult one to honor. It is so important that with just this first agreement you will be able to transcend to the level of existence I call heaven on earth. The first agreement is to be impeccable with your word. It sounds very simple, but it is very, very powerful. Why your word? Your word is the power that you have to create. Your word is the gift that comes directly from God. The Gospel of John in the Bible, speaking of the creation of the universe, says, In the beginning was the word, and the word was with God, and the word is God. Through the word you express your creative power. It is through the word that you manifest everything. Regardless of what language you speak, your intent manifests through the word. What you dream, what you feel, and what you really are, will all be manifested through the word.
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