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To talk about race, you have to talk about your differences. To talk about race, you have to talk about, to some degree, deconstructing the myth of the melting pot, which has never fundamentally been true. To admit that a big part of our history has been plunderous and violent and rigged against people of color. Were ashamed of our collective guilt. We would have to admit and to grieve for whats been done. We would have to acknowledge our own daily complicity, and to acknowledge that we are tied to the history of racism.

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that archetype is a closed man. Your inner self is forever secretive and unknownstoic, silent, not revealing of your feelings.

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the notion of grace as a recognition that we are fundamentally flawed and weak and confused. We dont deserve grace, but we get it sometimes.

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work is essential.

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African American boys or white boys. They dont have rituals, road maps, and initiation rites into a clear sense of a male strength and energy that is positive as opposed to just dominating.

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the only clear, defining thing about being a man, about being masculine, is excelling in sports and sexual conquest BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN: And violence.

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Later, you add to that definition: making money. How much money can you make?

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carrying all the same baggage. All the same anger, all the same pent-up frustrations, all the same messages.

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Every man is trying to live up to his fathers expectations or live up to his mistakes.

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that archetype is a closed man.

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think people whose fathers arent thereand whose mothers are feeling really bitter about their fathers not being therewhat they absorb is how terrible that guy was and you dont want to be like that guy. In

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Every man is trying to live up to his fathers expectations or live up to his mistakes. You

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Because, you know, contrary to the song of a great American master, were generally not born to run. Most of us are born to run a little bit and go back home.

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I think were people that needed boundaries.

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if you needed a woman, you were weak. Family was restrictive to your male freedoms.

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