Top highlights from The Last Thing He Told Me
He never understood that I wasnt scared of someone leaving me, I was scared that the wrong person would stay.
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This is the terrible thing about a tragedy. It isn't with you every minute. You forget it, and then you remember it again.
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This is the thing about good and evil. They aren't so far apart - and they often start from the same valiant place of wanting something to be different.
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How do you explain it when you find in someone what youve been waiting for your whole life? Do you call it fate? It feels lazy to call it fate. Its more like finding your way homewhere home is a place you secretly hoped for, a place you imagined, but where youd never before been. Home. When you werent sure youd ever get to have one.
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The could-have been boys still love you.
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There are parts I wish didnt exist, parts I cant look away from now. In one way or another, this is the deal we all sign when we love someone. For better or worse. Its the deal we have to sign again and again to keep that love. We dont turn away from the parts of someone we dont want to see. However quickly or long it takes to see them. We accept them if we are strong enough. Or we accept them enough to not let the bad parts become the entire story.
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People dont tend to work that way. We have our opinion and we filter information into a paradigm that supports it.
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Most people don't want to hear the thing that will make it work better... They want to hear what will make it easier.
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Einstein said, So far as the theories of mathematics are about reality, they are not certain; so far as they are certain, they are not about reality.
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Which is when I understand, in a flash, what Ive been doing wrong with herwhat Ive been doing wrong in how Ive been trying to connect with her. I thought if I were nice enough, sweet enough, shed understand she could count on me. But thats not how you learn you can count on someone. You learn it in the moments when everyones too tired to be sweet, too tired to try hard. You learn it by what they do for you then.
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We forget all sorts of things that no one helps us remember,
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That sometimes you find your way to the place that wants you most.
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This is the terrible thing about a tragedy. It isnt with you every minute. You forget it, and then you remember it again. And you see it with a stark quality: This is what is required of you now, just to get along.
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Watching my grandfather work taught me that not everything was fluid. There were certain things that you hit from different angles, but you never gave up on. You did the work that was needed, wherever that work took you.
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Maybe we are all fools, one way or another, when it comes to seeing the totality of the people who love usthe people we try to love.
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Sometimes your passion takes work and you shouldn't give up on it just because it isn't easy...[Owen Michaels, as quoted by daughter Bailey]
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Owen isnt who I thought he was, at least not in the details. There are parts I wish didnt exist, parts I cant look away from now. In one way or another, this is the deal we all sign when we love someone. For better or worse. Its the deal we have to sign again and again to keep that love. We dont turn away from the parts of someone we dont want to see. However quickly or long it takes to see them. We accept them if we are strong enough. Or we accept them enough to not let the bad parts become the entire story.
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Its never about someone else the moment you realize it is up to you to get yourself to a better place. Its only about figuring out how to get there.
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This is the thing about good and evil. They arent so far apartand they often start from the same valiant place of wanting something to be different.
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Each species of wood has its own distinctive patterns and colors, which are revealed when the bowl is turned. Philip Moulthrop
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You cannot make a deal with the devil and expect it to turn out okay.
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you fill in the blankswith stories and memories from the people who love you.
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Its a terrible thing to know everything about someone long after you want to.
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Maybe we are all fools, one way or another, when it comes to seeing the totality of the people who love us--the people we try to love.[Hannah Hall]
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...there are certain things we can't erase, certain things that we reveal to the people closest to us despite what we may or may not know we are telling them.[Hannah Hall]
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But I knew the other part wasn't about me, so I decide not to make it about me now. It's never about someone else the moment you realize it is up to you to get yourself to a better place. It's only about figuring out how to get there.
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You may have to go with English, Bailey says. Einstein said, So far as the theories of mathematics are about reality, they are not certain; so far as they are certain, they are not about reality. Bailey tilts her head. Still waiting on the English there, Professor, she says. It basically means, we dont know shit about anything, he says.
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This was something we sometimes did on days we got home lateon days we were too tired to get into the big stuff. We each picked one thing from the day to tell each other about. One good thing from our separate lives.
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In one way or another, this is the deal we all sign when we love someone. For better or worse. Its the deal we have to sign again and again to keep that love. We dont turn away from the parts of someone we dont want to see. However quickly or long it takes to see them. We accept them if we are strong enough. Or we accept them enough to not let the bad parts become the entire story. Because
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He never understood that I wasnt scared of someone leaving me. I was scared that the wrong person would stay.
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elusive way that you either had with someone or you could never quite findthat pervasive shorthand in which a look could tell us what the other person needed: Time to leave the party; Time to reach for me; Time to give me room to breathe. It was a little bit of all of that and something far bigger than all of that. How do you explain it when you find in someone what youve been waiting for your whole life? Do you call it fate? It feels lazy to call it fate. Its more like finding your way homewhere home is a place you secretly hoped for, a place you imagined, but where youd never before been. Home. When you werent sure youd ever get to have one. Thats what he was to me. Thats who he was.
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Dont Ask a Question You Dont Want the Answer To
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We always have a choice. Thats what Grady said too. What does that even mean? That there is a right thing to do and there is a wrong thing to do. Simple. Judgmental. And if you are the person someone is asking that question about, you have chosen wrongas if the world is divided between the people who have never made a big mistake. And the people who have.
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He never understood that I wasn't scared of someone leaving me. I was scared the wrong person would stay.
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You learn it in the moments when everyones too tired to be sweet, too tired to try hard. You learn it by what they do for you then.
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I hear the crazy. She sounds crazy. Maybe thats what happens when the bottom falls out, you lose the ability to modulateto make your words make sense to the rest of the world.
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Im able
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problems came when I tried to fit myself into someone elses life,
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weekend ritual to sit on the bench together, drinking our morning coffee.
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We dont turn away from the parts of someone we dont want to see. However quickly or long it takes to see them. We accept them if we are strong enough. Or we accept them enough to not let the bad parts become the entire story.
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There were certain things that you hit from different angles, but you never gave up on.
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How do you explain it when you find in someone what youve been waiting for your whole life? Do you call it fate? It feels lazy to call it fate. Its more like finding your way homewhere home is a place you secretly hoped for, a place you imagined, but where youd never before been.
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Gotta pick a piece of wood, I said. It all starts with picking a good piece of wood. If thats no good, you have nowhere good to go. How
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You did the work that was needed, wherever that work took you.
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Watching my grandfather work taught me that not everything was fluid. There were certain things that you hit from different angles, but you never gave up on. You did the work that was needed, wherever that work took you. [Hannah Hall]
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In one way or another, this is the deal we all sign when we love someone. For better or worse. It's the deal we have to sign again and again to keep that love. We don't turn away from the parts of someone we don't want to see. However quickly or long it takes to see them. We accept them if we are strong enough. Or we accept them enough to not let the bad parts become the entire story.[Hannah Hall]
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My grandfather used to say that most people dont want to hear the thing that will make it work better, I said. They want to hear what will make it easier.
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But thats not how you learn you can count on someone. You learn it in the moments when everyones too tired to be sweet, too tired to try hard. You learn it by what they do for you then.
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one way or another, this is the deal we all sign when we love someone. For better or worse. Its the deal we have to sign again and again to keep that love. We dont turn away from the parts of someone we dont want to see. However quickly or long it takes to see them. We accept them if we are strong enough. Or we accept them enough to not let the bad parts become the entire story.
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maybe he hasnt been judging Carl for other reasons. Maybe Owen doesnt judge him because Carl returns the favor, by not judging a secret Owen felt safe confiding in Carl. Even if that theory is wrong, I still need to talk to him. Because Carls also the only lawyer I know in town. I knock on the front door, but no one answers. Not Carl, not Patty. Its odd because Carl works from home. He likes to be around for his kidshis two young kidswho usually nap at this time. Carl and Patty are sticklers for their childrens schedule. Patty lectured me about it during our first night out together. Patty had just celebrated her twenty-eighth birthday, which made the lecture all the more enjoyable. If I was still able to have childrenthat was how she said itI was going to have to be careful not to let them rule the roost. Id have to show them who was in charge. That meant a schedule. That meant, in her case, a 12:30 P.M. nap every day. Its 12:45. If Carl isnt home, why isnt Patty? Except that through the living room blinds, I see that Carl is home. I see him standing there, hiding behind those blinds, waiting for me to go. I knock on the door again, pressing hard on the doorbell. Im going to ring the doorbell for the rest of the afternoon until he lets me in. Kids naps be damned. Carl swings the door open. He is holding a beer; his hair is neatly combed. Those are the first indicators that something strange is going on. His hair is usually uncombed,
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There are parts I wish didnt exist, parts I cant look away from now. In one way or another, this is the deal we all sign when we love someone. For better or worse. Its the deal we have to sign again and again to keep that love. We dont turn away from the parts of someone we dont want to see. However quickly or long it takes to see them. We accept them if we are strong enough. Or we accept them enough to not let the bad parts become the entire story. Because
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sit on the tarmac, waiting for the plane to take off. Bailey stares out the window. She looks exhaustedher eyes dark and puffy, her skin a splotchy red. She looks exhausted and she looks scared. I havent told her everything yet. But she understands enough. She understands enough that Im not surprised she is scared. Id be surprised if she werent. Theyll come visit, I say. Nicholas and Charlie. They can bring your cousins if you want. I think that would be a nice thing. I think your cousins really want to meet you. They wont stay with us or anything? she says.
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Maybe we are all fools, one way or another, when it comes to seeing the totality of the people who love us -- the people we try to love.
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A defense attorney, at least a good defense attorney, never tries to convince anyone of anything. We do the opposite. We remind everyone you cant know anything for sure.
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Not that Im saying that I didnt have a choice in working for them. I believe you always have a choice. And the choice I made was to defend people who, by law, deserve a proper defense. Theres honor in that. I never lied to my family about
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How do you explain it when you find in someone what youve been waiting for your whole life? Do you call it fate? It feels lazy to call it fate. Its more like finding your way homewhere home is a place you secretly hoped for, a place you imagined, but where youd never before been. Home. When you werent sure youd ever get to have one. Thats what he was to me. Thats who he was.
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In one way or another, this is the deal we all sign when we love someone. For better or worse. Its the deal we have to sign again and again to keep that love. We dont turn away from the parts of someone we dont want to see. However quickly or long it takes to see them. We accept them if we are strong enough. Or we accept them enough to not let the bad parts become the entire story. Because there is this too. The details are not the whole story. The whole story still includes this: I love Owen.
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It basically means, we dont know shit about anything,
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It leaves you in the same strange place, trying to figure out how to navigate the world without the most important person watching.
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Time to leave the party; Time to reach for me; Time to give me room to breathe.
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