I have over a decades worth of eating disorder experience at this point. There were the anorexic years, the binge-eating ones, and the current bulimic ones. The more experience Ive got, the more I recognize that the body is hardly a reliable reflection of whats going on inside it. My body has fluctuated frequently and drastically throughout this decade, and no matter how its fluctuated, no matter whether my body is a kids size 10 slim or an adult size 6, Ive had an issue underneath it. People dont seem to get that unless they have a history with eating disorders. People seem to assign thin with good, heavy with bad, and too thin also with bad. Theres such a small window of good. Its a window that I currently fall into, even though my habits are so far from good. Im abusing my body every day. Im miserable. Im depleted. And yet the compliments keep pouring in.

I'm Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy