In my negotiating course, I tell my students that empathy is the ability to recognize the perspective of a counterpart, and the vocalization of that recognition. Thats an academic way of saying that empathy is paying attention to another human being, asking what they are feeling, and making a commitment to understanding their world. Notice I didnt say anything about agreeing with the other persons values and beliefs or giving out hugs. Thats sympathy. What Im talking about is trying to understand a situation from another persons perspective. One step beyond that is tactical empathy. Tactical empathy is understanding the feelings and mindset of another in the moment and also hearing what is behind those feelings so you increase your influence in all the moments that follow. Its bringing our attention to both the emotional obstacles and the potential pathways to getting an agreement done. Its emotional intelligence on steroids.

Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss