Gwen smiles. Do you know what part of If is actually relevant right now? To this moment? If you can make one heap of all your winnings / And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss, / And lose, and start again at your beginnings / And never breathe a word about your loss. She must be messing with me. Surely she knows shes just described my greatest fear. But no, I can tell from the look on her face that she sincerely thinks that Im that brave, that I am doing this because I am okay with losing big. Not because I am terrified of losing at all. And it stuns me silent, for a moment: just how vast the gap is between who I am and how people see me.

Carrie Soto Is Back by Taylor Jenkins Reid