If you get into a relationship with somebody whos not treating you poorly, you may find yourself feeling increasingly uncomfortable. And then, unconsciously, your mind might seek a predictable response. You may try to provoke a bit of a response. Maybe Ill do X and itll piss him off. If this elicits the behavior youre most familiar with-he gets angry and treats you poorly-it can actually be validating. The worldview has been confirmed. Even though the result is chaos and conflict, its comforting to know that its familiar.

What Happened To You? by Bruce D. Perry